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50 Random Messages

1. "If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."

-- Alice Roosevelt Longworth		 Vote

2. Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! Website

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3. "People change and forget to tell each other."

-- Lillian Hellman		 Vote

4. "First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me."

-- Steve Martin		 Vote

5. "I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty."

-- Imelda Marcos		 Vote

6. "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."

-- August Strindberg		 Vote

7. "We're on a Mission from God!"

-- The Blues Brothers		 Vote

8. "Democracy is an abuse of statistics."

-- Jorge Luis Borges		 Vote

9. "I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy."

-- Frank Zappa		 Vote

10. "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

-- Robin Williams		 Vote

11. "I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally."

-- W. C. Fields		 Vote

12. "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

-- Groucho Marx		 Vote

13. "After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'"

-- William S. Burroughs		 Vote

14. "Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything!"

-- Steve Martin		 Vote

15. "My girlfriend always laughs during sex, no matter what she's reading."

-- Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)		 Vote

16. Strange Fact:

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.		 Vote

17. Interesting Fact:

Back in the mid to late 80's, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator, probably because of the fact that it is one of the hardest programs to get running.		 Website

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18. "Tell a man there are 300 Billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure."

-- Jarger		 Vote

19. I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery.
When I got there, the guy was locking the front door.
I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.'
He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'

-- Steven Wright		 Vote

20. Strange Fact:

You lose enough dead skin cells in your lifetime to fill eight five-pound flour bags.		 Vote

21. "The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault."

-- Henry Kissinger		 Vote

22. "A witty saying proves nothing."

-- Voltaire		 Vote

23. "There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do."

-- Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State)		 Vote

24. Strange Fact:

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.		 Vote

25. "It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often they burst into flames."

-- Harry Hill		 Vote

26. " If there is, in fact, a Heaven and a Hell, all we know for sure is that Hell will be a viciously overcrowded version of Phoenix..."

-- Hunter S. Thompson		 Vote

27. "I have given two cousins to war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother."

-- Artemus Ward		 Vote

28. "I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."

-- J. D. Salinger		 Vote

29. "I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty."

-- Nancy Reagan		 Vote

30. "We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?"

-- Niels Bohr		 Vote

31. "I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book."

-- Groucho Marx		 Vote

32. "I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child."

-- Woody Allen		 Vote

33. Historical Fact:

The Spanish Inquisition once condemned the entire Netherlands to death for heresy.		 Vote

34. "Everything has been figured out, except how to live."

-- Jean-Paul Sartre		 Vote

35. "I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens."

-- Dwight D. Eisenhower		 Vote

36. "War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military."

-- Georges Clemenceau		 Vote

37. "The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself."

-- Mark Twain		 Vote

38. Strange Fact:

Over 25% of Zaire is infected with a form of the Ebola virus that does not kill.		 Vote

39. "Believe, when you are most unhappy, that there is something for you to do in the world. So long as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not in vain."

-- Helen Keller		 Vote

40. "CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.'"

-- Conan O'Brien		 Vote

41. "My interest in the future is because I am going to spend the rest of my life there."

-- Charles F. Kettering		 Vote

42. "I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot."

-- Axel Rose (Guns'n'Roses)		 Vote

43. "Not a day passes over the earth but men and women of no note do great deeds, speak great words, and suffer noble sorrows."

-- Charles Reade		 Vote

44. "We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."

-- Will Rogers		 Vote

45. Strange Fact:

Hailed as a wonder drug in the late nineteenth century, cocaine was outlawed in the United States in 1914.		 Vote

46. "Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he’ll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office."

-- David Broder		 Vote

47. "The Bible and the Church have been the greatest stumbling blocks in the way of woman's emancipation."

-- Elizabeth Cady Stanton		 Vote

48. "Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."

-- Cyril Connolly		 Vote

49. Strange Law:

In Atlanta, Georgia, it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.		 Vote

50. "94.5% of all statistics are made up."

-- Woody Allen		 Vote

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