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50 Random Messages

1. "Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he’ll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office."

-- David Broder
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2. "I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known."

-- Walt Disney
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3. "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."

-- George Bernard Shaw
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4. "The most difficult thing of all - yet the most essential - is to love life, even when you suffer, because life is all."

-- Leo Tolstoy
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5. Scientific Fact:

We are about 1 cm taller in the morning than in the evening. Layers of cartilage in the joints gets compressed during the day.
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6. "I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy."

-- Woody Allen
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7. "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."

-- Sir Winston Churchill
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8. "Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion."

-- Conan O'Brien
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9. "I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty."

-- Imelda Marcos
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10. Strange Fact:

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
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11. "Do not bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it."

-- Thomas Jefferson
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12. "There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval."

-- George Santayana
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13. "In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican."

-- H. L. Mencken
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14. "One has a greater sense of intellectual degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience."

-- Alice James
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15. "Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me."

-- Ambrose Bierce
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16. "The moment the slave resolves that he will no longer be a slave, his fetters fall. He frees himself and shows the way to others. Freedom and slavery are mental states."

-- Mahatma Gandhi
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17. "The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep."

-- Woody Allen
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18. Interesting Fact:

The minimum age set in the U.S. Constitution for the President of the United States is 35.
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19. "Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts is not necessarily science."

-- Henri Poincare
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20. "The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows."

-- Aristotle Onassis
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21. "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."

-- Jerry Seinfeld
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22. "I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter."

-- Steven Wright
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23. "First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me."

-- Steve Martin
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24. "We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."

-- Will Rogers
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25. "A girl phoned me the other day and said 'Come on over, there's nobody home'. I went over. Nobody was home."

-- Rodney Dangerfield
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26. "Facts are stupid things."

-- Ronald Reagan
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27. Historical Fact:

In 1893, Chicago hired its first police woman. Her name was Marie Owens. While the city was progressive in its hiring practices, Chicago's female police officers were not allowed to wear uniforms until 1956.
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28. Strange Law:

A local ordinance in Atwoodville, Connecticut prohibits people from playing Scrabble while waiting for a politician to speak.
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29. "The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people."

-- Lucille S. Harper
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30. "I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."

-- Shirley Temple
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31. Don't ever think buying second hand items are cheap.
Children get bullied for it, and I'm here to say it
doesn't matter!
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32. "When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them."

-- Rodney Dangerfield
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33. "I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child."

-- Woody Allen
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34. "A fine quotation is a diamond on the finger of a man of wit, and a pebble in the hand of a fool."

-- Joseph Roux
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35. I wanna have you look at my body!
http://imgchili.net/album/2-721e76956e63b2cd9ea4d8a73f1-e443
Website

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36. "War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military."

-- Georges Clemenceau
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37. "Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?"

-- Jules Feiffer
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38. "I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth."

-- Umberto Eco
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39. "94.5% of all statistics are made up."

-- Woody Allen
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40. "The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it."

-- P. J.O'Rourke
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41. "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

-- Martin Luther King Jr.
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42. "Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine."

-- David Moulton
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43. "I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."

-- Lily Tomlin
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44. Strange Fact:

Over 2500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people.
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45. "The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins."

-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
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46. Scientific Fact:

Time slows down near a black hole; inside it stops completely.
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47. "The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault."

-- Henry Kissinger
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48. "People change and forget to tell each other."

-- Lillian Hellman
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49. Interesting Fact:

Bill Gates' first business was Traff-O-Data, a company that created machines which recorded the number of cars passing a given point on a road.
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50. "Time's fun when you're having flies."

-- Kermit the Frog
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