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50 Random Messages

1. "The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows."

-- Aristotle Onassis
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2. "My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."

-- Orson Welles
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3. "I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts: 'I wanna know your name...'"

-- Mike Binder
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4. "The worst thing about Europe is that you can't go out in the middle of the night and get a Slurpee."

-- Tellis Frank
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5. Strange Law:

It's illegal in Alabama to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
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6. Strange Fact:

During an average lifetime, a man will spend 3,350 hours removing 8.4 meters of stubble.
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7. Interesting Fact:

In 1980, Namco released PAC-MAN, the most popular video (or arcade) game of all time. The original name was going to be PUCK MAN, but executives saw the potential for vandals to scratch out part of the P in the games marquee and labeling.
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8. "It's a small world... but I wouldn't want to paint it."

Steven Wright
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9. Strange Fact:

You lose enough dead skin cells in your lifetime to fill eight five-pound flour bags.
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10. "Tell a man there are 300 Billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure."

-- Jarger
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11. "I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."

-- Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)
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12. "The Bible and the Church have been the greatest stumbling blocks in the way of woman's emancipation."

-- Elizabeth Cady Stanton
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13. "I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty."

-- Imelda Marcos
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14. Strange Fact:

In Gulliver's Travels Jonathan Swift described the two moons of Mars, Phobos and Deimos, giving their exact size and speeds of rotation. He did this more than 100 years before either moon was discovered.
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15. "If you aspire to the highest place, it is no disgrace to stop at the second, or even the third, place."

-- Cicero
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16. "A mind once stretched by new thoughts can never regain its original shape."

-- Albert Einstein
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17. "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

-- Lana Turner
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18. World Record:

The largest employer in the world is the Indian railway system, employing over a million people.
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19. "Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life."

-- Bertolt Brecht
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20. "War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military."

-- Georges Clemenceau
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21. Historical Fact:

The Spanish Inquisition once condemned the entire Netherlands to death for heresy.
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22. "In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known."

-- Thomas Pickering
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23. "Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself."

-- Roseanne Barr
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24. Strange Fact:

Monks in the 16th century recorded seeing a giant explosion on the side of the Moon. It most likely was a large meteor that slammed into the Moon and left a large crater.
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25. "First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have been ratified, nor a treaty that I thought made sense for the country."

-- George W. Bush, on the Kyoto accord, April 24, 2001
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26. "There is nothing which can better deserve our patronage than the promotion of science and literature. Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness."

-- George Washington
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27. "I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens."

-- Dwight D. Eisenhower
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28. "What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

-- George Carlin
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29. I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.

-- George W. Bush
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30. "I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."

-- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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31. "The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault."

-- Henry Kissinger
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32. "Madness is rare in individuals - but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule."

-- Friedrich Nietzshe
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33. Interesting Fact:

Back in the mid to late 80's, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator, probably because of the fact that it is one of the hardest programs to get running.
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34. "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

-- Groucho Marx
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35. "Words are loaded pistols."

-- Jean-Paul Sartre
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36. "Believe, when you are most unhappy, that there is something for you to do in the world. So long as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not in vain."

-- Helen Keller
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37. "I'm going to Iowa for an award. Then I'm appearing at Carnegie Hall, it's sold out. Then I'm sailing to France to be honored by the French government. I'd give it all up for one erection."

-- Groucho Marx
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38. "That's not a lie. It's a terminological inexactitude."

-- Alexander Haig
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39. My top 10 favorite movies:

Requiem for a Dream, Voyage of the Damned, Chasing Amy, Bring It On, Imitation of Life, Lost in Translation, Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, Mon Oncle, The Blues Brothers, The Sorrow and the Pity
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40. In History:

On August 9th 1936 Jesse Owens won his 4th gold medal at the Berlin Olympics.
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41. "Hell is other people."

-- Jean-Paul Sartre
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42. Strange Law:

In Saudi Arabia, a woman reportedly may divorce her husband if he does not keep her supplied with coffee.
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43. "It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up."

-- Muhammad Ali
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44. "My mother never breast fed me.She told me that she only liked me as a friend."

-- Rodney Dangerfield
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45. "To the living we owe respect, but the dead we owe only the truth."

-- Voltalre
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46. Historical Fact:

The first United States coast to coast airplane flight occurred in 1911 and took 49 days.
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47. Strange Law:

Chewing gum is outlawed in Singapore because it is a means of "tainting an environment free of dirt."
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48. “If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either."

-- Dick Cavett
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49. "By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher...and that is a good thing for any man."

-- Socrates
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50. "To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person."

-- Bruce Lee
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