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50 Random Messages

1. "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"

-- Dustin Hoffman
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2. "My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."

-- Ellen DeGeneres
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3. "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy."

-- Tom Waits
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4. "I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because
I hate plants."

-- A. Whitney Brown
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5. "I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty."

-- Imelda Marcos
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6. Strange Fact:

London police photographed the eyes of Jack the Ripper's victims because they thought his image might be recorded in them.
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7. "I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lives next door complained."

-- Steven Wright
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8. "Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair."

-- George Burns
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9. I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery.
When I got there, the guy was locking the front door.
I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.'
He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'

-- Steven Wright
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10. "Facts are stupid things."

-- Ronald Reagan
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11. "The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."

-- Bertrand Russell
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12. Strange Fact:

Over 25% of Zaire is infected with a form of the Ebola virus that does not kill.
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13. Historical Fact:

Florence Nightingale served only two years of her life as a nurse. She contracted fever during her service in the Crimean War, and spent the last 50 years of her life as an invalid.
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14. "John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career."

-- Conan O'Brien
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15. "First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do."

-- Epictetus
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16. "If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."

-- George Gobel
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17. "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."

-- Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943
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18. "Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?"

-- Sigmund Freud
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19. "It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up."

-- Muhammad Ali
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20. Strange Fact:

The colder the room you sleep in, the better the chances are that you'll have a bad dream.
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21. Strange Fact:

Over 2500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people.
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22. "It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit."

-- Harry S. Truman
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23. "Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do."

-- Jean-Paul Sartre
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24. Strange Law:

An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps backwards while dancing.
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25. Strange Law:

In Breton, Alabama, there is a law on the town's books against riding down the street in a motorboat.
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26. "In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time."

-- Edward P. Tryon
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27. "Madness is rare in individuals - but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule."

-- Friedrich Nietzshe
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28. "All of us necessarily hold many casual opinions that are ludicrously wrong simply because life is far too short for us to think through even a small fraction of the topics that we come across."

-- Julian Simon
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29. "Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children"
-Dwight D. Eisenhower
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30. Historical Fact:

The last words spoken from the moon were from Eugene Cernan, Commander of the Apollo 17 Mission on 11 December 1972. "As we leave the Moon at Taurus-Littrow, we leave as we came, and, God willing, we shall return, with peace and hope for all mankind."
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31. Strange Law:

Chewing gum is outlawed in Singapore because it is a means of "tainting an environment free of dirt."
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32. "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."

-- Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes)
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33. "Hesitation is the best cure for anger."

-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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34. World Record:

At 12 years old, an African named Ernest Loftus made his first entry in his diary and continued everyday for 91 years.
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35. "The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins."

-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
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36. "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

-- Albert Einstein
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37. Strange Fact:

At a glance, the Celsius scale makes more sense than the Fahrenheit scale for temperature measuring. But its creator, Anders Celsius, was an strange scientist. When he first developed his scale, he made freezing 100 degrees and boiling 0 degrees, or upside down. No one dared point this out to him, so fellow scientists waited until Celsius died to change the scale to what it is today.
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38. Picco Development Website

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39. "If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."

-- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
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40. Strange Fact:

A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off - it dies from starvation.
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41. Strange Law:

It's illegal in Alabama to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
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42. "Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking."

-- Marcus Aurelius
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43. Strange Law:

In the state of Queensland, Australia, it is still constitutional law that all pubs must have a railing outside for patrons to tie up their horse.
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44. "Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."

-- Mark Twain
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45. “If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either."

-- Dick Cavett
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46. "When pain is to borne, a little courage helps more than much knowledge, a little human sympathy more than much courage, and the least tincture of the love of God more than all."

-- C. S. Lewis
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47. "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

-- Dave Barry
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48. Strange Fact:

In Gulliver's Travels Jonathan Swift described the two moons of Mars, Phobos and Deimos, giving their exact size and speeds of rotation. He did this more than 100 years before either moon was discovered.
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49. "If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with."

-- Michael Jackson
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50. "To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person."

-- Bruce Lee
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