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50 Random Messages

1. "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."

-- Samuel Johnson
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2. "If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

-- Woody Allen
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3. "Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."

-- W. C. Fields
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4. "Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler."

-- W.C. Fields
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5. World Record:

As of September 1998, the highest recorded mileage for a car was 1,615,000 miles for a 1966 Volvo P-1800.
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6. "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."

-- August Strindberg
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7. "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."

-- Tiger Woods
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8. "One has a greater sense of intellectual degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience."

-- Alice James
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9. "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

-- Robin Williams
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10. "The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution."

-- Hannah Arendt
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11. "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

-- Napoleon Bonaparte
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12. Strange Fact:

If you were to roll a lung from a human body out flat it would be the size of a tennis court.
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13. Strange Law:

In the state of Queensland, Australia, it is still constitutional law that all pubs must have a railing outside for patrons to tie up their horse.
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14. "In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known."

-- Thomas Pickering
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15. Interesting Fact:

Forensic scientists can determine a person's sex, age, and race by examining a single strand of hair.
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16. "Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life."

-- Bertolt Brecht
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17. "To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost."

-- Gustave Flaubert
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18. Strange Law:

It's illegal in Alabama to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
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19. Strange Fact:

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
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20. "Facts are stupid things."

-- Ronald Reagan
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21. "Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no-one likes to have to keep one."

-- W.C. Fields
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22. Strange Fact:

The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Brittanica.
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23. "I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because
I hate plants."

-- A. Whitney Brown
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24. "You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing."

-- Michael Pritchard
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25. "Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth."

-- George Burns
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26. "Well informed people know it is impossible to transmit the voice over wires and that were it possible to do so, the thing would be of no practical value."

-- Editorial in the Boston Post (1865)
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27. "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

-- Groucho Marx
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28. "I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens."

-- Dwight D. Eisenhower
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29. Strange Fact:

J. Edgar Hoover liked to fire FBI agents whose palms were sweaty when shaking hands.
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30. "I fear nothing, I hope nothing, I am free."

-- Nikos Kazatzakis
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31. "If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you would not let a single meal pass without sharing it in some way."

-- Buddha
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32. I am so sick of traffic. People need to learn how to drive or get the hell off the roads. Do you ever feel like no one around you even has a driver's license? Vote

33. Great people don't change to become great. They changed what is great. -- Cody Swann Vote

34. "Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master."

-- Rev. Jesse Jackson
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35. "Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance but to do what lies clearly at hand."

-- Thomas Carlyle
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36. Interesting Fact:

The minimum age set in the U.S. Constitution for the President of the United States is 35.
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37. World Record:

Belgian driver Jenatzy was the first to reach a speed of over 100km/h in his electrically powered car 'La Jamais Contente' in 1899.
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38. "American and British troops handed out food to hundreds of Iraqis. Not surprisingly, Iraqis handed the British food back."

-- Conan O'Brien
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39. “In the first place God made idiots; that was just for practice. Then he made school boards.”

-- Mark Twain
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40. Strange Fact:

At a glance, the Celsius scale makes more sense than the Fahrenheit scale for temperature measuring. But its creator, Anders Celsius, was an strange scientist. When he first developed his scale, he made freezing 100 degrees and boiling 0 degrees, or upside down. No one dared point this out to him, so fellow scientists waited until Celsius died to change the scale to what it is today.
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41. Play chitchatcity we need players!! Vote

42. "When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute."

-- Steven Wright
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43. Strange Law:

It is illegal to marry the spouse of a grandparent in Maine, Maryland, South Carolina, and Washington, DC.
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44. "I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

-- Thomas Alva Edison
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45. "I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book."

-- Groucho Marx
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46. "I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it."

-- Groucho Marx
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47. "People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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48. "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."

-- George Bernard Shaw
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49. I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery.
When I got there, the guy was locking the front door.
I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.'
He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'

-- Steven Wright
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50. "The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any."

-- Katharine Whitehorn
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