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50 Random Messages

1. "In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways."

-- Edith Wharton
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2. "I never think of the future - it comes soon enough."

-- Albert Einstein
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3. Strange Fact:

Approximately 16 Canadians have their appendices removed, when not required, every day.
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4. "In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican."

-- H. L. Mencken
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5. "You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club."

-- Jack London
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6. "Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art."

-- Tom Stoppard
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7. Strange Fact:

If you are locked in a completely sealed room, you will die of carbon dioxide poisoning, before you will die of oxygen deprivation.
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8. Strange Fact:

All Humans Are 99.9% Genetically Identical and 98.4% of human genes are the same as the genes of a chimpanzee.
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9. "All of us necessarily hold many casual opinions that are ludicrously wrong simply because life is far too short for us to think through even a small fraction of the topics that we come across."

-- Julian Simon
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10. "My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."

-- Ellen DeGeneres
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11. "Facts are stupid things."

-- Ronald Reagan
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12. Interesting Fact:

The search engine Google got its name from the word "googol", which refers to the number one with a hundred zeros after it.
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13. Scientific Fact:

The Earth gets heavier each day by tons, as meteoric dust settles on it.
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14. "After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'"

-- William S. Burroughs
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15. " If there is, in fact, a Heaven and a Hell, all we know for sure is that Hell will be a viciously overcrowded version of Phoenix..."

-- Hunter S. Thompson
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16. Strange Fact:

The three things pregnant women dream most of during their first trimester are 1) frogs 2) worms 3) potted plants.
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17. They came for the Communists, and I didn't object For I wasn't a Communist;
They came for the Socialists, and I didn't object - For I wasn't a Socialist;
They came for the labor leaders, and I didn't object - For I wasn't a labor leader;
They came for the Jews, and I didn't object - For I wasn't a Jew;
Then they came for me - And there was no one left to object."

-- Martin Niemoller
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18. "Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at midnight, and the Italians should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car."

-- Bill Bryson
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19. Strange Law:

In Atlanta, Georgia, it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
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20. "Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance but to do what lies clearly at hand."

-- Thomas Carlyle
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21. "It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried."

-- Sir Winston Churchill
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22. "Hesitation is the best cure for anger."

-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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23. "We're on a Mission from God!"

-- The Blues Brothers
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24. "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

-- Martin Luther King Jr.
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25. "It is no measure of health to be sane in an insane society."

-- Krishnamurti
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26. "I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty."

-- Imelda Marcos
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27. World Record:

At 12 years old, an African named Ernest Loftus made his first entry in his diary and continued everyday for 91 years.
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28. "Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought."

-- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
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29. World Record:

As of September 1998, the highest recorded mileage for a car was 1,615,000 miles for a 1966 Volvo P-1800.
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30. "The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep."

-- Woody Allen
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31. "Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction."

-Blaise Pascal
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32. "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

-- Lana Turner
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33. My top 10 favorite movies:

Requiem for a Dream, Voyage of the Damned, Chasing Amy, Bring It On, Imitation of Life, Lost in Translation, Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, Mon Oncle, The Blues Brothers, The Sorrow and the Pity
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34. "Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no-one likes to have to keep one."

-- W.C. Fields
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35. "The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows."

-- Aristotle Onassis
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36. "My mother never breast fed me.She told me that she only liked me as a friend."

-- Rodney Dangerfield
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37. Strange Fact:

During an average lifetime, a man will spend 3,350 hours removing 8.4 meters of stubble.
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38. Scientific Fact:

Human blood travels 60,000 miles per day on its journey through the arteries, arterioles and capillaries and back through the venules and veins.
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39. Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! Website

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40. When I woke up this morning
my girlfriend asked me,
'Did you sleep good?'

I said,
'No, I made a few mistakes.'

-- Steven Wright
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41. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."

-- W. C. Fields
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42. "People find life entirely too time-consuming."

-- Stanislaw Lec
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43. "Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth."

-- George Burns
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44. Strange Law:

It's illegal in Alabama to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
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45. Interesting Fact:

Forensic scientists can determine a person's sex, age, and race by examining a single strand of hair.
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46. Interesting Fact:

Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.
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47. Historical Fact:

During the California Gold Rush of 1849 miners sent their laundry to Honolulu for washing and pressing. Due to the extremely high costs in California during these boom years it was deemed more feasible to send the shirts to Hawaii for servicing.
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48. "Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation."

-- Henry Kissinger
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49. "Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigour of the mind."

-- Leonardo da Vinci
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50. "A mind once stretched by new thoughts can never regain its original shape."

-- Albert Einstein
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