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50 Random Messages

1. "There is nothing which can better deserve our patronage than the promotion of science and literature. Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness."

-- George Washington
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2. "One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important."

-- Bertrand Russell
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3. "Regret for wasted time is more wasted time."

-- Mason Cooley
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4. "After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'"

-- William S. Burroughs
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5. "The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast. The chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

-- Unknown
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6. Strange Law:

In Atlanta, Georgia, it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
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7. "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."

-- Samuel Johnson
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8. "If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

-- Woody Allen
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9. "People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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10. "A witty saying proves nothing."

-- Voltaire
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11. Historical Fact:

During the California Gold Rush of 1849 miners sent their laundry to Honolulu for washing and pressing. Due to the extremely high costs in California during these boom years it was deemed more feasible to send the shirts to Hawaii for servicing.
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12. "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

-- Napoleon Bonaparte
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13. "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."

-- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)
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14. "When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute."

-- Steven Wright
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15. I'm not totally Republican, Democrat, or Tea Party. Then "What am I ?" Well you are a Patrecrat. Definition is: to unify exemption in political or social equality by culmination ie.(to rise to or form an apex)

Spread the word "A Patrecrat want's our Greatest Generation back!"
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16. Strange Fact:

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
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17. Scientific Fact:

A cosmic year is the amount of time it takes the sun to revolve around the center of the Milky Way, about 225 million years.
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18. "Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."

-- W. C. Fields
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19. Strange Law:

It's illegal in Alabama to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
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20. "Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life."

-- Bertolt Brecht
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21. "Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything!"

-- Steve Martin
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22. "In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways."

-- Edith Wharton
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23. "After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles'."

-- Ronnie Shakes
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24. "To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost."

-- Gustave Flaubert
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25. "My mother never breast fed me.She told me that she only liked me as a friend."

-- Rodney Dangerfield
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26. "A fine quotation is a diamond on the finger of a man of wit, and a pebble in the hand of a fool."

-- Joseph Roux
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27. "Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler."

-- W.C. Fields
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28. "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

-- Albert Einstein
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29. "There has never been a good war or a bad peace."

-- Benjamin Franklin
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30. World Record:

In 1935, Jesse Owens set six track and field world records in less than one hour.
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31. Scientific Fact:

Human blood travels 60,000 miles per day on its journey through the arteries, arterioles and capillaries and back through the venules and veins.
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32. "Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me."

-- Ambrose Bierce
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33. Strange Fact:

In Gulliver's Travels Jonathan Swift described the two moons of Mars, Phobos and Deimos, giving their exact size and speeds of rotation. He did this more than 100 years before either moon was discovered.
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34. Strange Fact:

In 1990, a 64-year old Hartsville, Tennessee, woman entered a hospital for surgery for what doctors diagnosed as a tumor on her buttocks. What surgeons found, however, was a four-inch pork chop bone, which they removed. They estimated that it had been in place for five to ten years. The woman could not remember sitting on it, or eating it for that matter.
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35. "Good artists copy; great artists steal"

-- Pablo Picasso
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36. Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'

-- Steven Wright
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37. Strange Fact:

Monks in the 16th century recorded seeing a giant explosion on the side of the Moon. It most likely was a large meteor that slammed into the Moon and left a large crater.
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38. "It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up."

-- Muhammad Ali
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39. "Well informed people know it is impossible to transmit the voice over wires and that were it possible to do so, the thing would be of no practical value."

-- Editorial in the Boston Post (1865)
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40. "When the Paris Exhibition closes electric light will close with it and no more be heard of."

-- Erasmus Wilson (1878)
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41. Scientific Fact:

Bacteria, the tiniest free-living cells, are so small that a single drop of liquid contains as many as 50 million of them.
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42. World Record:

Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.
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43. Strange Law:

An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps backwards while dancing.
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44. "Believe, when you are most unhappy, that there is something for you to do in the world. So long as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not in vain."

-- Helen Keller
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45. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve it through not dying.

-- Woody Allen
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46. "I fear nothing, I hope nothing, I am free."

-- Nikos Kazatzakis
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47. "A girl phoned me the other day and said 'Come on over, there's nobody home'. I went over. Nobody was home."

-- Rodney Dangerfield
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48. Strange Fact:

During an average lifetime, a man will spend 3,350 hours removing 8.4 meters of stubble.
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49. Ni! Vote

50. "It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit."

-- Harry S. Truman
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