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50 Random Messages

1. "If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."

-- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
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2. Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! Website

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3. "People change and forget to tell each other."

-- Lillian Hellman
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4. "First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me."

-- Steve Martin
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5. "I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty."

-- Imelda Marcos
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6. "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."

-- August Strindberg
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7. "We're on a Mission from God!"

-- The Blues Brothers
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8. "Democracy is an abuse of statistics."

-- Jorge Luis Borges
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9. "I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy."

-- Frank Zappa
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10. "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

-- Robin Williams
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11. "I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally."

-- W. C. Fields
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12. "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

-- Groucho Marx
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13. "After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'"

-- William S. Burroughs
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14. "Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything!"

-- Steve Martin
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15. "My girlfriend always laughs during sex, no matter what she's reading."

-- Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)
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16. Strange Fact:

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
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17. Interesting Fact:

Back in the mid to late 80's, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator, probably because of the fact that it is one of the hardest programs to get running.
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18. "Tell a man there are 300 Billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure."

-- Jarger
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19. I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery.
When I got there, the guy was locking the front door.
I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.'
He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'

-- Steven Wright
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20. Strange Fact:

You lose enough dead skin cells in your lifetime to fill eight five-pound flour bags.
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21. "The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault."

-- Henry Kissinger
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22. "A witty saying proves nothing."

-- Voltaire
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23. "There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do."

-- Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State)
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24. Strange Fact:

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
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25. "It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often they burst into flames."

-- Harry Hill
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26. " If there is, in fact, a Heaven and a Hell, all we know for sure is that Hell will be a viciously overcrowded version of Phoenix..."

-- Hunter S. Thompson
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27. "I have given two cousins to war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother."

-- Artemus Ward
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28. "I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."

-- J. D. Salinger
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29. "I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty."

-- Nancy Reagan
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30. "We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?"

-- Niels Bohr
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31. "I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book."

-- Groucho Marx
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32. "I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child."

-- Woody Allen
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33. Historical Fact:

The Spanish Inquisition once condemned the entire Netherlands to death for heresy.
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34. "Everything has been figured out, except how to live."

-- Jean-Paul Sartre
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35. "I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens."

-- Dwight D. Eisenhower
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36. "War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military."

-- Georges Clemenceau
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37. "The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself."

-- Mark Twain
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38. Strange Fact:

Over 25% of Zaire is infected with a form of the Ebola virus that does not kill.
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39. "Believe, when you are most unhappy, that there is something for you to do in the world. So long as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not in vain."

-- Helen Keller
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40. "CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.'"

-- Conan O'Brien
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41. "My interest in the future is because I am going to spend the rest of my life there."

-- Charles F. Kettering
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42. "I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot."

-- Axel Rose (Guns'n'Roses)
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43. "Not a day passes over the earth but men and women of no note do great deeds, speak great words, and suffer noble sorrows."

-- Charles Reade
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44. "We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."

-- Will Rogers
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45. Strange Fact:

Hailed as a wonder drug in the late nineteenth century, cocaine was outlawed in the United States in 1914.
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46. "Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he’ll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office."

-- David Broder
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47. "The Bible and the Church have been the greatest stumbling blocks in the way of woman's emancipation."

-- Elizabeth Cady Stanton
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48. "Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."

-- Cyril Connolly
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49. Strange Law:

In Atlanta, Georgia, it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
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50. "94.5% of all statistics are made up."

-- Woody Allen
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