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50 Random Messages

1. "I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty."

-- Imelda Marcos
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2. Interesting Fact:

Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.
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3. "To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person."

-- Bruce Lee
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4. "No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather."

-- Michael Pritchard
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5. Strange Fact:

At a glance, the Celsius scale makes more sense than the Fahrenheit scale for temperature measuring. But its creator, Anders Celsius, was an strange scientist. When he first developed his scale, he made freezing 100 degrees and boiling 0 degrees, or upside down. No one dared point this out to him, so fellow scientists waited until Celsius died to change the scale to what it is today.
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6. "If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."

-- Dorothy Parker
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7. "My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."

-- Ellen DeGeneres
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8. My top 10 favorite movies:

Requiem for a Dream, Voyage of the Damned, Chasing Amy, Bring It On, Imitation of Life, Lost in Translation, Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, Mon Oncle, The Blues Brothers, The Sorrow and the Pity
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9. "We're on a Mission from God!"

-- The Blues Brothers
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10. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."

-- W. C. Fields
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11. "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."

-- Groucho Marx
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12. "When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute."

-- Steven Wright
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13. "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."

-- August Strindberg
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14. "We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."

-- Will Rogers
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15. Strange Fact:

Your eyes are always the same size from birth but your nose and ears never stop growing.
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16. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

-- Oscar Wilde
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17. "One has a greater sense of intellectual degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience."

-- Alice James
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18. "The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."

-- Bertrand Russell
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19. Strange Fact:

Over 2500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people.
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20. "Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading."

-- G. M. Trevelyan
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21. "All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand."

-- Steven Wright
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22. "Free at last, free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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23. "Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance but to do what lies clearly at hand."

-- Thomas Carlyle
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24. Strange Fact:

Between the ages of 30 and 70, you nose may lengthen and widen by as much as half an inch.
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25. "I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter."

-- Steven Wright
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26. Strange Fact:

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
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27. "Time's fun when you're having flies."

-- Kermit the Frog
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28. Strange Law:

In 1845 Boston had an ordinance banning bathing unless you had a doctor's prescription.
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29. "Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter."

-- William Ralph Inge
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30. Strange Fact:

Undertakers report that human bodies do not deteriorate as quickly as they used to. The reason, they believe, is that the modern diet contains so many preservatives that these chemicals tend to prevent the body from decomposition too rapidly after death.
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31. "If you aspire to the highest place, it is no disgrace to stop at the second, or even the third, place."

-- Cicero
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32. World Record:

Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.
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33. "We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction."

-- General Douglas MacArthur
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34. I paid $1 and all I got was to spread this shitty message to the world! Vote

35. "If you can really laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk."

-- Conan O'Brien
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36. "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

-- Lana Turner
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37. "One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important."

-- Bertrand Russell
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38. "To the living we owe respect, but the dead we owe only the truth."

-- Voltalre
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39. "I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

-- Thomas Alva Edison
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40. "O, it is excellent to have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous to use it like a giant."

-- William Shakespeare
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41. Strange Fact:

In Gulliver's Travels Jonathan Swift described the two moons of Mars, Phobos and Deimos, giving their exact size and speeds of rotation. He did this more than 100 years before either moon was discovered.
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42. "Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation."

-- Henry Kissinger
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43. "It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do."

-- Jerome K. Jerome
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44. "The most difficult thing of all - yet the most essential - is to love life, even when you suffer, because life is all."

-- Leo Tolstoy
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45. "Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?"

-- Jules Feiffer
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46. "Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans."

-- Conan O'Brien
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47. In History:

On August 9th 1942 the U.S. - Canada border is defined by the Webster-Ashburton Treaty.
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48. NO WAR Vote

49. "When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them."

-- Rodney Dangerfield
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50. "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."

-- Samuel Johnson
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