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50 Random Messages

1. "I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."

-- J. D. Salinger
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2. Strange Fact:

Quotation marks have only been around for about 300 years. They're the youngest punctuation marks in the english language.
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3. World Record:

Lang Martin balanced seven golf balls vertically without adhesive at Charlotte, NC on 9 February 1980.
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4. "I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."

-- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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5. "94.5% of all statistics are made up."

-- Woody Allen
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6. "Hell is other people."

-- Jean-Paul Sartre
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7. "All of us necessarily hold many casual opinions that are ludicrously wrong simply because life is far too short for us to think through even a small fraction of the topics that we come across."

-- Julian Simon
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8. Don't eat yellow snow Vote

9. Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! - Spread My Message! Website

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10. I am so sick of traffic. People need to learn how to drive or get the hell off the roads. Do you ever feel like no one around you even has a driver's license? Vote

11. Historical Fact:

The first dictionary of American English was published on April 14th, 1828, by Noah Webster.
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12. Interesting Fact:

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch procejt at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosnt mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
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13. "Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!'"

-- Patricia Arquette
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14. "Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter."

-- William Ralph Inge
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15. "We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?"

-- Niels Bohr
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16. Strange Fact:

The three things pregnant women dream most of during their first trimester are 1) frogs 2) worms 3) potted plants.
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17. "A witty saying proves nothing."

-- Voltaire
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18. "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."

-- Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes)
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19. "The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."

-- EE Cummings
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20. "My mother never breast fed me.She told me that she only liked me as a friend."

-- Rodney Dangerfield
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21. "One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important."

-- Bertrand Russell
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22. "I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."

-- Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)
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23. "I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world."

-- Georges Duhamel
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24. Historical Fact:

During the California Gold Rush of 1849 miners sent their laundry to Honolulu for washing and pressing. Due to the extremely high costs in California during these boom years it was deemed more feasible to send the shirts to Hawaii for servicing.
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25. "The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad."

-- Salvador Dali
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26. Historical Fact:

In 1893, Chicago hired its first police woman. Her name was Marie Owens. While the city was progressive in its hiring practices, Chicago's female police officers were not allowed to wear uniforms until 1956.
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27. "Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking."

-- Marcus Aurelius
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28. "Time's fun when you're having flies."

-- Kermit the Frog
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29. "First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have been ratified, nor a treaty that I thought made sense for the country."

-- George W. Bush, on the Kyoto accord, April 24, 2001
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30. "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

-- Martin Luther King Jr.
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31. "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

-- Henny Youngman
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32. "Not a day passes over the earth but men and women of no note do great deeds, speak great words, and suffer noble sorrows."

-- Charles Reade
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33. NO WAR Vote

34. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

-- Oscar Wilde
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35. "War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military."

-- Georges Clemenceau
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36. When I woke up this morning
my girlfriend asked me,
'Did you sleep good?'

I said,
'No, I made a few mistakes.'

-- Steven Wright
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37. "A narcissist is someone better looking than you are."

-- Gore Vidal
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38. "I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it."

-- Groucho Marx
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39. "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."

-- George Bernard Shaw
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40. "As long as there are innocent nickels to be made from the gullible, Python-starved public, I shall be out there dressed in silly frocks and singing filthy lyrics. I'm coming your way in search of ancient dollars."

-- Eric Idle
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41. Strange Fact:

In 1972, a group of scientists reported that you could cure the common cold by freezing the big toe.
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42. Interesting Fact:

The last two European countries to let women vote were Switzerland (in 1971) and Leichtenstein (in 1984).
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43. "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy."

-- Tom Waits
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44. "My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap....He was in the electric chair."

-- Rodney Dangerfield
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45. "Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?"

-- Jules Feiffer
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46. Scientific Fact:

A cosmic year is the amount of time it takes the sun to revolve around the center of the Milky Way, about 225 million years.
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47. "I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty."

-- Nancy Reagan
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48. "The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."

-- Terry Pratchett
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49. "The moment the slave resolves that he will no longer be a slave, his fetters fall. He frees himself and shows the way to others. Freedom and slavery are mental states."

-- Mahatma Gandhi
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50. Brain Teaser:

There is a low railroad bridge in your town. One day you see a large truck stopped just before the underpass. When you ask what has happened, the driver tells you that his truck is one inch higher than the indicated height of the opening. This is the only road to his destination. What can he do to get through the underpass the easiest way?
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