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50 Random Messages

1. "I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again."

-- Noel Coward
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2. "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

-- Napoleon Bonaparte
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3. "Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."

-- Mark Twain
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4. "A girl phoned me the other day and said 'Come on over, there's nobody home'. I went over. Nobody was home."

-- Rodney Dangerfield
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5. "In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known."

-- Thomas Pickering
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6. "I do not feel obliged to believe that same God who endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect had intended for us to forgo their use."

-- Galileo Galilei
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7. "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"

-- Dustin Hoffman
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8. "One day as I came home early from work I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy 'Hey buddy, why are you doing that?' He said 'Because you came home early'."

-- Rodney Dangerfield
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9. "Believe, when you are most unhappy, that there is something for you to do in the world. So long as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not in vain."

-- Helen Keller
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10. World Record:

The largest pyramid in the world is not in Egypt but in Cholulu de Rivadahia, Mexico. It is 177 feet tall and covers 25 acres. It was built sometime between 6 and 12 AD.
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11. "It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried."

-- Sir Winston Churchill
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12. Don't eat yellow snow Vote

13. "Good artists copy; great artists steal"

-- Pablo Picasso
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14. "I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."

-- Shirley Temple
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15. "Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."

-- Cyril Connolly
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16. Scientific Fact:

Human blood travels 60,000 miles per day on its journey through the arteries, arterioles and capillaries and back through the venules and veins.
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17. "In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican."

-- H. L. Mencken
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18. Scientific Fact:

Females have 500 more genes than males, and because of this are protected from things like color blindness and hemophilia.
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19. "Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair."

-- George Burns
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20. "I fear nothing, I hope nothing, I am free."

-- Nikos Kazatzakis
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21. "Most advances in science come when a person for one reason or another is forced to change fields."

-- Peter Borden
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22. "I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

-- Rodney Dangerfield
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23. If you cannot accept everyone with a working heartbeat for who they are in America, you're in the wrong country. Differences and uniqueness are what made this country what it is, and I hope one day to see the ideas founded in America, shown around the world. Website

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24. "John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career."

-- Conan O'Brien
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25. "I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."

-- J. D. Salinger
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26. "The Bible and the Church have been the greatest stumbling blocks in the way of woman's emancipation."

-- Elizabeth Cady Stanton
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27. "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

-- Martin Luther King Jr.
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28. "I never think of the future - it comes soon enough."

-- Albert Einstein
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29. I am so sick of traffic. People need to learn how to drive or get the hell off the roads. Do you ever feel like no one around you even has a driver's license? Vote

30. "I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

-- Thomas Alva Edison
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31. I wanna have you look at my body!
http://imgchili.net/album/2-721e76956e63b2cd9ea4d8a73f1-e443
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32. "People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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33. "Well informed people know it is impossible to transmit the voice over wires and that were it possible to do so, the thing would be of no practical value."

-- Editorial in the Boston Post (1865)
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34. "No, if anyone orders Merlot, I'm leaving. I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!"

-- Paul Giamatti (From the movie "Sideways")
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35. Strange Fact:

London police photographed the eyes of Jack the Ripper's victims because they thought his image might be recorded in them.
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36. "Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies."

-- Voltaire on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan.
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37. "Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."

-- General William Westmoreland
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38. They came for the Communists, and I didn't object For I wasn't a Communist;
They came for the Socialists, and I didn't object - For I wasn't a Socialist;
They came for the labor leaders, and I didn't object - For I wasn't a labor leader;
They came for the Jews, and I didn't object - For I wasn't a Jew;
Then they came for me - And there was no one left to object."

-- Martin Niemoller
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39. "That's not a lie. It's a terminological inexactitude."

-- Alexander Haig
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40. "Democracy is an abuse of statistics."

-- Jorge Luis Borges
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41. "It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up."

-- Muhammad Ali
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42. "Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life."

-- Tom Waits
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43. "The worst thing about Europe is that you can't go out in the middle of the night and get a Slurpee."

-- Tellis Frank
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44. Strange Fact:

The three things pregnant women dream most of during their first trimester are 1) frogs 2) worms 3) potted plants.
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45. "To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person."

-- Bruce Lee
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46. "I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."

-- Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)
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47. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

-- Steven Wright
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48. "My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the natural enemy of a tightrope walker."

-- Dan Rather (News anchorman)
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49. "Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left over by those who hustle."

-- Abraham Lincoln
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50. "When pain is to borne, a little courage helps more than much knowledge, a little human sympathy more than much courage, and the least tincture of the love of God more than all."

-- C. S. Lewis
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