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50 Random Messages

1. "Those only are happy who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness; on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind, even on some art or pursuit, followed not as a means, but as itself an ideal end. Aiming thus at something else, they find happiness by the way."

-- John Stuart Mill
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2. Historical Fact:

Louis XV was the first person to use an elevator: in 1743 his "flying chair" carried him between the floors of the Versailles palace.
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3. "I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child."

-- Woody Allen
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4. Strange Fact:

Over 25% of Zaire is infected with a form of the Ebola virus that does not kill.
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5. Scientific Fact:

Females have 500 more genes than males, and because of this are protected from things like color blindness and hemophilia.
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6. "There has never been a good war or a bad peace."

-- Benjamin Franklin
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7. "No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather."

-- Michael Pritchard
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8. "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

-- Jack Nicholson
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9. "Do not bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it."

-- Thomas Jefferson
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10. "To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others."

-- Anne-Sophie Swetchine
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11. Historical Fact:

Until 1796, there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it is known as Tennessee.
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12. "Hell is other people."

-- Jean-Paul Sartre
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13. "There is nothing which can better deserve our patronage than the promotion of science and literature. Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness."

-- George Washington
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14. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

-- Steven Wright
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15. When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.
I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

-- Steven Wright
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16. Historical Fact:

The Spanish Inquisition once condemned the entire Netherlands to death for heresy.
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17. "Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts is not necessarily science."

-- Henri Poincare
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18. "My interest in the future is because I am going to spend the rest of my life there."

-- Charles F. Kettering
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19. Interesting Fact:

Back in the mid to late 80's, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator, probably because of the fact that it is one of the hardest programs to get running.
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20. World Record:

Lang Martin balanced seven golf balls vertically without adhesive at Charlotte, NC on 9 February 1980.
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21. "Everything you can imagine is real."

-- Pablo Picasso
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22. "People find life entirely too time-consuming."

-- Stanislaw Lec
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23. "Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."

-- Charlotte Whitton
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24. "We're on a Mission from God!"

-- The Blues Brothers
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25. "John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career."

-- Conan O'Brien
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26. "I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy."

-- Woody Allen
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27. "It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit."

-- Harry S. Truman
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28. "One has a greater sense of intellectual degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience."

-- Alice James
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29. "It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried."

-- Sir Winston Churchill
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30. Strange Fact:

All Humans Are 99.9% Genetically Identical and 98.4% of human genes are the same as the genes of a chimpanzee.
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31. "Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at midnight, and the Italians should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car."

-- Bill Bryson
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32. "Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?"

-- Sigmund Freud
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33. "I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."

-- Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)
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34. "Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."

-- Sir Winston Churchill
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35. "Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler."

-- W.C. Fields
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36. "Man walk on road. Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk down middle, sooner or later, get squished just like grape."

-- Mr. Miyagi
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37. "My girlfriend always laughs during sex, no matter what she's reading."

-- Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)
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38. "I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it."

-- Groucho Marx
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39. "I fear nothing, I hope nothing, I am free."

-- Nikos Kazatzakis
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40. "A narcissist is someone better looking than you are."

-- Gore Vidal
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41. Interesting Fact:

Bill Gates' first business was Traff-O-Data, a company that created machines which recorded the number of cars passing a given point on a road.
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42. "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."

-- George Bernard Shaw
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43. "The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people."

-- G. K. Chesterton
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44. "I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty."

-- Nancy Reagan
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45. Strange Fact:

In 1972, a group of scientists reported that you could cure the common cold by freezing the big toe.
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46. "I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world."

-- Georges Duhamel
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47. "Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."

-- General William Westmoreland
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48. "Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children."

-- George Bernard Shaw
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49. Strange Fact:

You lose enough dead skin cells in your lifetime to fill eight five-pound flour bags.
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50. "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."

-- Groucho Marx
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