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50 Random Messages

1. "When the Paris Exhibition closes electric light will close with it and no more be heard of."

-- Erasmus Wilson (1878)
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2. "To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person."

-- Bruce Lee
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3. "I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."

-- Shirley Temple
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4. Strange Fact:

During an average lifetime, a man will spend 3,350 hours removing 8.4 meters of stubble.
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5. "If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."

-- George Gobel
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6. "Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?"

-- Jules Feiffer
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7. "The worst thing about Europe is that you can't go out in the middle of the night and get a Slurpee."

-- Tellis Frank
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8. "What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

-- George Carlin
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9. "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."

-- Groucho Marx
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10. "Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation."

-- Henry Kissinger
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11. "That's not a lie. It's a terminological inexactitude."

-- Alexander Haig
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12. "Do, or do not. There is no 'try'."

- Yoda
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13. "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."

-- Roseanne Barr
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14. "First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have been ratified, nor a treaty that I thought made sense for the country."

-- George W. Bush, on the Kyoto accord, April 24, 2001
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15. "Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies."

-- Voltaire on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan.
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16. "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

-- Jack Nicholson
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17. "I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it."

-- Groucho Marx
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18. "The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad."

-- Salvador Dali
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19. "Regret for wasted time is more wasted time."

-- Mason Cooley
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20. "Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."

-- Mark Twain
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21. "Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter."

-- William Ralph Inge
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22. "I do not feel obliged to believe that same God who endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect had intended for us to forgo their use."

-- Galileo Galilei
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23. "Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."

-- Dave Barry
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24. "My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap....He was in the electric chair."

-- Rodney Dangerfield
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25. World Record:

Lang Martin balanced seven golf balls vertically without adhesive at Charlotte, NC on 9 February 1980.
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26. "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

-- Robin Williams
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27. "Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."

-- Charlotte Whitton
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28. "Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life."

-- Tom Waits
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29. "Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century."

-- Lewis Perelman
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30. "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."

-- Groucho Marx
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31. My top 10 favorite movies:

Requiem for a Dream, Voyage of the Damned, Chasing Amy, Bring It On, Imitation of Life, Lost in Translation, Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, Mon Oncle, The Blues Brothers, The Sorrow and the Pity
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32. "Whenever I date a guy, I think, ‘Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?’”

-- Rita Rudner
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33. Strange Law:

In Atlanta, Georgia, it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
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34. "In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways."

-- Edith Wharton
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35. "In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time."

-- Edward P. Tryon
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36. "Hell is other people."

-- Jean-Paul Sartre
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37. "A witty saying proves nothing."

-- Voltaire
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38. My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference.

-- Harry S. Truman
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39. Strange Fact:

At a glance, the Celsius scale makes more sense than the Fahrenheit scale for temperature measuring. But its creator, Anders Celsius, was an strange scientist. When he first developed his scale, he made freezing 100 degrees and boiling 0 degrees, or upside down. No one dared point this out to him, so fellow scientists waited until Celsius died to change the scale to what it is today.
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40. "Freethinkers are those who are willing to use their minds without prejudice and without fearing to understand things that clash with their own customs, privileges, or beliefs. This state of mind is not common, but it is essential for right thinking; where it is absent, discussion is apt to become worse than useless."

-- Leo Tolstoy
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41. "Things are only impossible until they're not."

-- Jean-Luc Picard
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42. Strange Law:

In the state of Queensland, Australia, it is still constitutional law that all pubs must have a railing outside for patrons to tie up their horse.
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43. "I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

-- Douglas Adams
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44. They came for the Communists, and I didn't object For I wasn't a Communist;
They came for the Socialists, and I didn't object - For I wasn't a Socialist;
They came for the labor leaders, and I didn't object - For I wasn't a labor leader;
They came for the Jews, and I didn't object - For I wasn't a Jew;
Then they came for me - And there was no one left to object."

-- Martin Niemoller
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45. Scientific Fact:

A cosmic year is the amount of time it takes the sun to revolve around the center of the Milky Way, about 225 million years.
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46. "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."

-- Mark Twain
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47. "Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts is not necessarily science."

-- Henri Poincare
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48. "I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because
I hate plants."

-- A. Whitney Brown
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49. "There is nothing which can better deserve our patronage than the promotion of science and literature. Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness."

-- George Washington
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50. "Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting."

-- Karl Wallenda
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