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50 Random Messages

1. "You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club."

-- Jack London
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2. Strange Fact:

Quotation marks have only been around for about 300 years. They're the youngest punctuation marks in the english language.
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3. "My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."

-- Orson Welles
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4. "If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you would not let a single meal pass without sharing it in some way."

-- Buddha
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5. "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

-- Dave Barry
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6. "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"

-- Dustin Hoffman
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7. Strange Fact:

All Humans Are 99.9% Genetically Identical and 98.4% of human genes are the same as the genes of a chimpanzee.
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8. "Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!'"

-- Patricia Arquette
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9. "Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life."

-- Tom Waits
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10. "I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."

-- Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)
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11. "Things are only impossible until they're not."

-- Jean-Luc Picard
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12. "Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting."

-- Karl Wallenda
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13. "Free at last, free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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14. Strange Fact:

Over 2500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people.
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15. "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."

-- Groucho Marx
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16. "Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."

-- Dave Barry
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17. Strange Fact:

If you were to roll a lung from a human body out flat it would be the size of a tennis court.
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18. "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."

-- Sir Winston Churchill
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19. "Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."

-- Cyril Connolly
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20. "My mother never breast fed me.She told me that she only liked me as a friend."

-- Rodney Dangerfield
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21. "Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine."

-- David Moulton
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22. "People change and forget to tell each other."

-- Lillian Hellman
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23. HANDMADE COSTUME JEWELRY
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24. "I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty."

-- Imelda Marcos
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25. "The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep."

-- Woody Allen
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26. Interesting Fact:

Back in the mid to late 80's, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator, probably because of the fact that it is one of the hardest programs to get running.
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27. "Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?"

-- Sigmund Freud
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28. They came for the Communists, and I didn't object For I wasn't a Communist;
They came for the Socialists, and I didn't object - For I wasn't a Socialist;
They came for the labor leaders, and I didn't object - For I wasn't a labor leader;
They came for the Jews, and I didn't object - For I wasn't a Jew;
Then they came for me - And there was no one left to object."

-- Martin Niemoller
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29. "Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do."

-- Jean-Paul Sartre
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30. "First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have been ratified, nor a treaty that I thought made sense for the country."

-- George W. Bush, on the Kyoto accord, April 24, 2001
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31. "Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."

-- Charlotte Whitton
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32. "War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military."

-- Georges Clemenceau
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33. "I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."

-- Shirley Temple
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34. Strange Fact:

London police photographed the eyes of Jack the Ripper's victims because they thought his image might be recorded in them.
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35. Ni! Vote

36. "We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction."

-- General Douglas MacArthur
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37. "I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens."

-- Dwight D. Eisenhower
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38. "First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do."

-- Epictetus
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39. "My girlfriend is weird. She asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, "Okay, then forget it."

-- Steven Wright
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40. "I do not feel obliged to believe that same God who endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect had intended for us to forgo their use."

-- Galileo Galilei
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41. Interesting Fact:

The force of 1 billion people jumping at the same time is equal to 500 tons of TNT.
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42. Historical Fact:

The Spanish Inquisition once condemned the entire Netherlands to death for heresy.
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43. "Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion."

-- Conan O'Brien
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44. Strange Fact:

Between the ages of 30 and 70, you nose may lengthen and widen by as much as half an inch.
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45. "Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water."

-- W. C. Fields
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46. "Hesitation is the best cure for anger."

-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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47. "All of us necessarily hold many casual opinions that are ludicrously wrong simply because life is far too short for us to think through even a small fraction of the topics that we come across."

-- Julian Simon
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48. "Most advances in science come when a person for one reason or another is forced to change fields."

-- Peter Borden
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49. "I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lives next door complained."

-- Steven Wright
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50. "A mind once stretched by new thoughts can never regain its original shape."

-- Albert Einstein
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