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50 Random Messages

1. "Free at last, free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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2. World Record:

The largest employer in the world is the Indian railway system, employing over a million people.
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3. "My girlfriend always laughs during sex, no matter what she's reading."

-- Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)
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4. "Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."

-- Dave Barry
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5. "I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room."

-- Blaise Pascal
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6. "John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career."

-- Conan O'Brien
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7. Strange Fact:

Quotation marks have only been around for about 300 years. They're the youngest punctuation marks in the english language.
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8. "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."

-- Tiger Woods
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9. Strange Fact:

If you were to roll a lung from a human body out flat it would be the size of a tennis court.
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10. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

-- Oscar Wilde
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11. "People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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12. "There is nothing which can better deserve our patronage than the promotion of science and literature. Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness."

-- George Washington
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13. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve it through not dying.

-- Woody Allen
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14. Strange Fact:

It is estimated that millions of trees in the world are accidentally planted by squirrels who bury nuts and then forget where they hid them.
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15. "A girl phoned me the other day and said 'Come on over, there's nobody home'. I went over. Nobody was home."

-- Rodney Dangerfield
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16. "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"

-- George W. Bush
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17. "One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important."

-- Bertrand Russell
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18. Strange Fact:

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
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19. " If there is, in fact, a Heaven and a Hell, all we know for sure is that Hell will be a viciously overcrowded version of Phoenix..."

-- Hunter S. Thompson
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20. "When the Paris Exhibition closes electric light will close with it and no more be heard of."

-- Erasmus Wilson (1878)
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21. Interesting Fact:

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch procejt at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosnt mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
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22. "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'"

-- Arnold Schwarzenegger
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23. "When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute."

-- Steven Wright
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24. "There has never been a good war or a bad peace."

-- Benjamin Franklin
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25. "For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring."

-- Carl Sagan
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26. "The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."

-- EE Cummings
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27. "The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows."

-- Aristotle Onassis
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28. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."

-- W. C. Fields
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29. "A witty saying proves nothing."

-- Voltaire
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30. Strange Fact:

Between the ages of 30 and 70, you nose may lengthen and widen by as much as half an inch.
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31. "Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigour of the mind."

-- Leonardo da Vinci
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32. "Hell is other people."

-- Jean-Paul Sartre
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33. "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

-- Oscar Wilde
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34. "O, it is excellent to have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous to use it like a giant."

-- William Shakespeare
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35. "To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost."

-- Gustave Flaubert
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36. "Facts are stupid things."

-- Ronald Reagan
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37. "American and British troops handed out food to hundreds of Iraqis. Not surprisingly, Iraqis handed the British food back."

-- Conan O'Brien
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38. "Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."

-- Charlotte Whitton
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39. "Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything!"

-- Steve Martin
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40. "To the living we owe respect, but the dead we owe only the truth."

-- Voltalre
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41. "I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

-- Rodney Dangerfield
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42. "I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lives next door complained."

-- Steven Wright
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43. I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery.
When I got there, the guy was locking the front door.
I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.'
He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'

-- Steven Wright
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44. "Democracy is an abuse of statistics."

-- Jorge Luis Borges
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45. "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

-- Jack Nicholson
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46. "I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."

-- Lily Tomlin
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47. "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

-- Albert Einstein
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48. Strange Fact:

Hailed as a wonder drug in the late nineteenth century, cocaine was outlawed in the United States in 1914.
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49. "No, if anyone orders Merlot, I'm leaving. I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!"

-- Paul Giamatti (From the movie "Sideways")
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50. Strange Fact:

Over 25% of Zaire is infected with a form of the Ebola virus that does not kill.
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